At Green Phlegm, we are dedicated to bringing you the most "interesting" freeware, shareware, and news.

Our featured item of the moment is the Swiss Army Mouse.

First introduced in March 1998, it has enjoyed remarkable success. Say you're out camping in the woods ... need to start a fire? Reach for the Swiss Army Mouse! Need to remove the screws from your laptop? Reach for the Swiss Army Mouse! Doing a sattlite uplink and the laptop's excuse for an input device just won't cut it? Reach for the Swiss Army Mouse!

Early feedback included the comment, "Where's the Corkscrew?" Although planned for the newer models to be released in second quarter '99, a upgrade patch to include a corkscrew was never released because of technical difficulties. So imagine our surprise to see the newest product from X-10 Powerhouse?!

It seems that the Swiss Army Mouse has its first competing product on the market. The Beer Buddy combines a TV remote control with a bottle opener and corkscrew. Naturally, GF will come up with its own answer to this niche, if there is a real demand. So please write us with your answer to What do you want your corkscrew to do?

Hi! In case you haven't figured it out already, Green Phlegm Programming is not a real company, but satire. I want to showcase and include links to things that are considered "programmer humor". If you know of something that belongs here, please email GreenPhlegm with your suggestion. Remember, what goes around, comes around.